Wednesday, 4 September 2013

The truth about love...

Ok so here it is... The truth about love. And it seems so fitting seeings as I'm going to p!nks concert tonight but anyway...
Lets talk about relationships... In the beginning... The sun shines out of every orifice of your new lover.
They are wonderful and considerate and 'the perfect example of their species'...! 
You crap on to anyone who will listen about how awesome they really are... And it's not an act to lure you in... NO... You've been fooled by that trick before from a lesser example... 
You KNOW in your heart of hearts that THIS, this RIGHT NOW, is truly how/who they are... BUT... 
yes ladies and gentlemen there is a but... And depending on how much junk food you eat... It might be a big butt... Haahaa... See what I did there..? Clever hey..! Anyway..
This is not how they are in 99.9999999999999% of cases I have looked into...
That's right people... I sometimes do research before I post... Are you shocked...? I am too. 
It's ok. I'm not offended that you were shocked.
So back to the lies and deception.... It seems to be human nature to be on your best behaviour in the beginning of a relationship... Otherwise who would want to be in a relationship with a complete fucktard... I mean SERIOUSLY...! Not rocket science... But in my last post I shared with you the farting incident of my first date with Andy and I'm glad that happened because I like to be honest... In who I am... In what I say... Ad in how I conduct myself... So farting just really sped my intentions along. 
I want someone to love me for ME. not some trumped up goodie two shoes version of my former self.
So anyway... Lets talk about how guys do this deception thingy... It's not so much lies... Just deception.
BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER THOUGH...I would like to state that I love my husband with every inch of my being and sometimes that love also makes me want to hurt him in the face when he is a dick to me by his actions... Yes this can be out down to a few things like: 'men just don't think like women' or 'men are just different' and my personal favourite 'sometimes men are just SHIT'... All of which are quite true and correct.
Ok so in the beginning it's all: I'm hands on and WILL help you with stuff around the house! I WILL shit with the door closed and not when you are in earshot. I WILL put my clothes in the dirty clothes basket and hey... I might even wash them (or take them home for my mum to wash! DON'T THINK WE DON'T KNOW THIS HAPPENS!).
and 3-6 months later and until a 'conversation' is had about it: I am tired after work so I will sit on the couch whilst you do everything... Can you get me a beer too? I am shitting with the door open and you CAN hear me... Mmmm yummy. See those clothes there..? They fell off my body before I either got into bed or into the shower and that is where they like to stay... You are clearly the only one permitted to put them in the dirty clothes basket/washing machine. This is also toddlers logic.
So as you can see... It's not a good outcome.
The conversation... Now if communication isn't your strongest point in your relationship... En this is going to go badly... It will quite possibly turn into a mini competition/debate of who does more and who is more tired... But when you have moved your selfish butts from the 'all about me status' you can all of a sudden HEAR and appreciate what the other person is saying because the resentment is GONE. I have resented Andy... Sometimes for a long time because I felt that he didn't respect what I did as a mother and how FUCKING hard it is ALL day and I don't just work 8-12 hrs... It's 24/7 baby! 
So yeah... But when I started listening and ACKNOWLEDGING him... The same came back my way... And together we worked out (and are still working out) how to make it fair... We will need to reshuffle things now that I'm about to embark on full time work! So it is a work in progress.... The relationship reaches a stage where you may think 'fuck this shit!' But you need to look beyond that and see if how you feel really goes deeper than just the surface... And if it does... Don't give up. Shit gets real sometimes but if the love runs deep then don't give up at all. I wanted to at times but I didn't and I'm so pleased/proud I didn't! Go me! Actually GO US! 
Anyway... If you're thinking of embarking on a new relationship them please keep this little tale of truth in your mind and don't believe all that you see till about 3-6 months in... Although some species don't make the change till kids arrive and then you're really up shit creek... :p
It's is my signing off from the lovely Hyde park in Sydney! 
Have a good one!
Gracie xx

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